Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The most romantic moment in film . . .

I found it: the beloved lake scene. Darcy strips down and takes a dip . . . thinking about Elizabeth. Elizabeth takes a tour of his mansion . . . thinking about Darcy. Both characters believe they are hundreds of miles apart physically, and another million miles spiritually. But then the two "stumble upon" each other, and, well, they may just have a second chance at it.

By the way, the BBC Pride and Prejudice has a divine soundtrack composed by Carl Davis. One gets so attached to this movie and the excellent musical themes that accompany ever character and every moment. Guys . . . this would likely make a good gift for your girlfriends.

Who's the Hunkiest Romantic Comedy Hunk?

Now. Lest you think I'm a hopeless grinch, I do have a heart for a selected few romantic comedies and I'd like to pose favs for the male leads.

Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You get's a big thumbs up. As aforementioned, he looks like a good kisser. His australian accent adds a touch of class and his dimples are to die for. Now there's a man who could have melted the most lesbian of lesbian hearts. God bless you, Heath!

Hugh Grant in Two Weeks Notice also gets a thumbs up and perhaps two thumbs up since I enjoyed the plot of this movie more than that of 10 Things. If you're a girl and his baby-blue eyes, puppy dog expressions, devil-may-care charm, and British wit do not win you over . . . then I declare you are half a woman! Half a woman!

Now, I'll tell you who really takes the cake for hunkiness. Women of the world unite: I know you are all in this one with me. How many times have we enjoyed the following chick flick under the guise of relishing fine literature set to film? How many times have we "analysed" the lake scene when all we wanted to do was see the leading man topless? (Okay, the movie is too tasteful to make him go topless. But he does remove his cravat and waistcoat!) As I was saying, how many times? In all serious, for me it might total around 100.

And the award goes to: Colin Firth playing Mr. Darcy in the BBC's 1995 Pride and Prejudice miniseries. Best chick flick ever, hands town. This movie is simply every woman's dream. Even that of a cold-hearted chick-flick, romantic-comedy hater, like me.

10 Things I Hate About . . . romantic comedies!

So, it's ten years later and I finally get around to the classic romantic comedy 10 Things I Hate About You. Interestingly, all romantic comedies have this one thing in common: they all revolve around a girl skewering some guy (one way or another) and her watching him twist, turn, and writhe over the refiner's spit of ludicrous chivalric deeds until he is done to her perfection. Blue, black, and broken all over, he has finally proven his love to her (and his total lack of self-respect to us). When she deigns to bat an eyelash or flash him smile, (maybe even kiss him!), we supposedly have a happy ending as the dysfunctional couple unite and consummate their abusive relationship.


Maybe it's just because I have brothers and I'm upset about how their girlfriends treat them. But really. The antics women expect. It's sadistic. It has nothing to do with true love and everything to with a woman satisfying her prima-donna fantasies. Don't get me wrong, guys are not blameless when it comes to relationships and I think, to a degree, the romantic comedy as we know it is fundamentally a feminine plea for respect, attention, "true love." The kind of stuff some men are stingy about (when they're staring at those 'ahem beneath your tight sweater.) But honestly, ladies, romantic comedies are not the way to start a cultural dialogue about male-female relations. At best they are a lame, passive-aggressive response to real, deep seated issues. They make any self-respecting man . . . wince.

Okay, now that I've proven myself to be as onry as Kat, now might not be the best time to reprimand her. But I can't help it:

Kat, when Heath Ledger kisses you, you are supposed to enjoy it! Every last single delicious moment of it! Or else move over byotch cuz I wanna take your place.

One good thing I will say for this movie, (apart from it having a good soundtrack), is that it was a lesson in not judging people unfairly. I went through much of the movie hating the Julia Stiles character for being such an annoying feminazi. At the end of the movie, however, we learn about what a certain Joey did to her and I had some compassion. I guess we all have our "issues." And sometimes porcupine-prickliness is just a defense mechanism, a front to help a person cope with internal pain and protect themselves from future exploitation. Poor Kat/Julia. She still should have enjoyed kissing the adorable Heath Ledger, though.